SEXUAL ATTRACTION.
No matter how SPIRITUAL you are, if you can be HONEST without any iota of PRETENCE, you'll agree with me that the FIRST POINT of attraction between two people of the opposite sex is actually SEXUAL ATTRACTION. Let me say it again; the first attraction between a man and a woman who like each other is SEXUAL ATTRACTION. No you didn't hear me. I said the first attraction you felt before you approached your spouse or bae was SEXUAL ATTRACTION! This is an INDISPUTABLE FACT!
As Christians in a relationship or hoping to enter a relationship, we already know what is expected of us when it comes to our conduct in the relationship. The most important of all is NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE, and it's not up for debate. But then, the attraction between you and Bae is actually SEXUAL ATTRACTION. You still don't agree? Okay. Dear brother in Christ, the first time you saw that beautiful sister in Christ that you liked and decided to approach her for a relationship, was it her spirit that FIRST attracted you to her? Was it her sound doctrine? Her prayer life? Brothers in Christ, let's not deceive ourselves mbแปk. ๐
You saw "good things" that popped your eyes open; pretty face, nice shape and curves, big bum, big boobs, etc. Amen? I hope I'm communicating. So this sister in Christ appealed to you sexually, then you decided to investigate other aspects of her life, especially spiritually. But the blunt truth is that she FIRST appealed to you sexually. It's actually a good thing, God made it that way. The problem is when we try to mask our faces under religion and act "over spiritual" like we don't notice these things. The problem is when you don't admit that you feel sexually attracted to this lady and vice versa.
Many religious, super spiritual folks have gotten themselves into trouble because they have refused to be real with themselves and about their sexuality. They have denied their sexuality which has led them into a lot of sexual mess. They don't realize the importance of understanding themselves, their body and their sexuality. A spiritual brother in Christ is in a relationship with a spiritual sister in Christ, yet when they are together, he tries so hard to pretend like he's doing okay "down there" when in reality he is highly "agitated". Such people, when they are given just a little test end up failing woefully…like WOEFULLY! So who pretending done epp? Well, not me and I can't even pretend about real stuff as this. People who know me well know this. I'm too real like that o.
Sexual attraction is a good thing. In fact, let me give you a KEY ADVICE: If you have a Bae you don't feel sexually attracted to, you better end that relationship o. If you don't want to end it, PLEASE don't get married o! I repeat, DON'T GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE YOU AREN'T SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO! This is actually one of the major problems leading to extra-marital affairs. Realize that the one you choose to marry will be your sex partner for life! And if you don't feel sexually attracted to your sex partner, why do you even call them sex partner? Why are you with them? Brothers in Christ, listen! If you are with Bae, and you feel "strengthened in your outer man", it is a good thing. In fact it is healthy! I'm even tempted to say it is spiritual ๐. There is absolutely nothing wrong getting hard when you are with Bae. In fact, if you don't feel hard, it's a problem. It's either you don't find her sexually attractive (which is unhealthy), or you have a medical condition affecting your sexuality (which is also unhealthy). Bottom line is that it is UNHEALTHY. Don't get into a relationship with someone you have no sexual attraction for. It is unhealthy. Just stay friends.
Now to the crucial matter. Since as Believers in Christ, sexual involvement isn't part of our premarital romantic relationships, and we must also be in a relationship with someone we are sexually attracted to, how then do we deal with the sexual pressure and tension in our relationship? The answer is simple: BOUNDARIES! Set sexual boundaries early on in the relationship. In fact, this should be the first thing to be discussed and established at the beginning of the relationship. So how do we set boundaries? What are the rules? Are there hard-and-fast rules to establishing boundaries? I don't believe there are hard-and-fast rules, except the general rule that there will be NO SEXUAL INVOLVEMENT UNTIL MARRIAGE! But boundaries MUST be set!
Sexual boundaries vary in relationships, and the kind of boundaries employed is dependent on the individuals involved in the relationship. Each partner needs to be brutally honest about their weaknesses to determine the necessary boundaries suitable for them. You must first know yourself and understand yourself, your body, and your sexuality. Different people vary in their responses to different situations. Like I said earlier, I don't believe there are hard-and-fast rules, so I won't give any rules. I can only help you determine which boundaries are best efficient for you based on your BRUTALLY HONEST assessment of yourself, your body and your sexuality.
For example, some people have a really hard time keeping their hands to themselves when they are with their Bae in private. In such situation, these people easily give in to sexual pressure. The boundaries they need is to ALWAYS avoid meeting in private, or at least involve a third or even forth party if they must meet in private. For some others, they have no problem at all conducting themselves well with their Bae in private. For some folks, holding each other or cuddling can lead to doing some inappropriate stuff, but some others are very comfortable with it and still behave themselves very well while at it. Different strokes for different folks. One man's food is another man's poison, and one man's poison can actually be another man's medicine. The most important thing is to know yourself, understand your body, your sexuality and be brutally honest with yourself about your objective assessment of yourself.
Sexual attraction is awesome and necessary even in premarital relationships. It helps in bonding emotionally and physically (with the necessary boundaries of course). As long as you keep Christ at the centre of the relationship, you both won't lose focus. It will be easier handling sexual pressures if the two partners resolve in their minds to always honour God with their body and their relationship. Of course it's not by human strength but by God’s Hyper Grace (Hyper Power) at work in them both. And hopefully the relationship will eventually lead to marriage and they both will enjoy sexual fulfillment because they are sexually attracted to each other, and will remain addicted to each other after being sexually involved. This is God's will for us. He cares about our sexual enjoyment after all. I mean, isn't He just a good God! GLORY TO GOD! ๐
Do have an amazing Valentine's Day ahead of you. Show genuine love to ALL. Let love be your lifestyle, just as you have received the love of Christ.
—Dikky
#BaeSeries
#TID #ThisIsDikky #iFocus #FocusOnChrist
