POST | NYSC: A Waste Of Time And A Scam?

NYSC: A WASTE OF TIME AND A SCAM? 

Is NYSC really a waste of time? Is NYSC a SCAM? Before I answer this, let me make it clear first of all that NYSC being a waste of time or not is RELATIVE, and it's totally dependent on you. What exactly do I mean? Simple. You alone can decide for yourself if NYSC is (or will be) a waste of time for you, or a scam. There is no ABSOLUTE answer to this question.

So I just concluded my NYSC 2 weeks ago. Few years back, I was of the opinion that NYSC was just a sheer waste of valuable time that can be invested into something more beneficial. I had my reasons though, and one of them was because age wasn't on my side. I've had really rough times in my life that kinda resulted in wasted years, but I don't see them as wasted years anymore. That aside. So NYSC really didn't make any sense to me because I had dreams I was eager to pursue and I wasn't ready to let no NYSC waste another year of my life, delaying my dreams. But you know, opinions change. Mine did, and I'm GLAD it did.

My service year was really amazing! I served in Ibeno L.G.A in Akwa-Ibom State. I experienced a new culture, new people, new mindsets and ideologies. I got to also meet awesome people from around the nation, ESPECIALLY Believers in Christ, made meaningful connections, established special bonds with a few, and yes, I did MINISTRY. Let me also add that I was highly favoured (especially financially) throughout my stay in Akwa-Ibom. Had a few challenging times, I even got duped by someone who should be a brother, and I let it go just like that (so unlike me), but I never lacked. I had enough to help others. I was actually earning more than twice the amount of the NYSC allawee, and it's because I learnt to stretch myself during my NYSC year. It wasn't easy, it was really tough but well, I was enjoying the benefits. 😎

The motto of NYSC is SERVICE & HUMILITY. Funny enough, this should be the mantra of every (aspiring) leader. You can't lead without serving, and serving requires being humble. I guess it's safe to say NYSC is intended to build leaders, but you can't be built up by the scheme if you don't see it that way. In my own little capacity, I can say I SERVED in all HUMILITY. I discovered problems in the community where I served, especially in education/career choice, and I did my best to provide solutions. I educated and encouraged a few students on a personal level, not as their Mathematics teacher but as their big brother. I also shared a few of my failures with them so they don't make the same mistakes I made at their age.

I didn't understand the impact I made on these kids until I announced to them that I was finally leaving because I was done with NYSC. They got all emotional and didn't want me to leave. Some couldn't hold back their tears. We took a lot of pictures and selfies that day. During my NYSC, I counselled some, ministered the gospel to some, and inspired some. And I'm glad to say I saw results (even in their Mathematics), though not as much as I expected. But there was definitely much improvement.

As difficult as it was for me (because of my side hustles) I still tried to learn and do some things towards my music career. And the result was my latest single, iFocus, mixed and mastered by me. I know my music production skills have improved, but I still got work to do. I learnt to appreciate time and hard work. I also learned to manage people because I was the President of my CDS group. I learnt how to survive in a strange land and adapt effortlessly in very little time. I learnt how to mind my business and live a quiet responsible and independent life. I learnt to trust, love and give more. I learnt to take well calculated risks to get what I wanted, and I'm really GLAD I did! So many things I learnt and gained during my NYSC year, I can't put it all here.

So is NYSC really a waste of time and a scam? Obviously, my NYSC year wasn't a waste of time. I utilized every bit of my time very well in Akwa-Ibom State, right from the time I entered NYSC Camp. Or let me put it this way; I DID NOT WASTE MY TIME DURING MY NYSC. I left my indelible mark in the lives of people in SERVICE & HUMILITY. I did all that on PURPOSE because I had it all PLANNED OUT before NYSC.

But if you think NYSC is a waste of time and a scam, I will also agree with you, because it means you wasted your time during NYSC and scammed yourself, or for those yet to do NYSC, you unconsciously plan to waste your time and scam yourself. It's dependent on you. You alone can decide if NYSC is (or will be) a waste of time and a scam. You can plan ahead and use your time meaningfully during NYSC, or you just go ahead and waste your time during NYSC. Your choice. I made my choice, and I didn't waste my time. So NYSC wasn't actually a waste of time or a scam for me. It was valuable time invested that was highly beneficial. I'm grateful for the opportunities NYSC granted me.

—Dikky

#TID #ThisIsDikky #iFocus

#BaeSeries | Sexual Attraction

SEXUAL ATTRACTION.

No matter how SPIRITUAL you are, if you can be HONEST without any iota of PRETENCE, you'll agree with me that the FIRST POINT of attraction between two people of the opposite sex is actually SEXUAL ATTRACTION. Let me say it again; the first attraction between a man and a woman who like each other is SEXUAL ATTRACTION. No you didn't hear me. I said the first attraction you felt before you approached your spouse or bae was SEXUAL ATTRACTION! This is an INDISPUTABLE FACT!

As Christians in a relationship or hoping to enter a relationship, we already know what is expected of us when it comes to our conduct in the relationship. The most important of all is NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE, and it's not up for debate. But then, the attraction between you and Bae is actually SEXUAL ATTRACTION. You still don't agree? Okay. Dear brother in Christ, the first time you saw that beautiful sister in Christ that you liked and decided to approach her for a relationship, was it her spirit that FIRST attracted you to her? Was it her sound doctrine? Her prayer life? Brothers in Christ, let's not deceive ourselves mbọk. 😏

You saw "good things" that popped your eyes open; pretty face, nice shape and curves, big bum, big boobs, etc. Amen? I hope I'm communicating. So this sister in Christ appealed to you sexually, then you decided to investigate other aspects of her life, especially spiritually. But the blunt truth is that she FIRST appealed to you sexually. It's actually a good thing, God made it that way. The problem is when we try to mask our faces under religion and act "over spiritual"  like we don't notice these things. The problem is when you don't admit that you feel sexually attracted to this lady and vice versa.

Many religious, super spiritual folks have gotten themselves into trouble because they have refused to be real with themselves and about their sexuality. They have denied their sexuality which has led them into a lot of sexual mess. They don't realize the importance of understanding themselves, their body and their sexuality. A spiritual brother in Christ is in a relationship with a spiritual sister in Christ, yet when they are together, he tries so hard to pretend like he's doing okay "down there" when in reality he is highly "agitated". Such people, when they are given just a little test end up failing woefully…like WOEFULLY! So who pretending done epp? Well, not me and I can't even pretend about real stuff as this. People who know me well know this. I'm too real like that o.

Sexual attraction is a good thing. In fact, let me give you a KEY ADVICE: If you have a Bae you don't feel sexually attracted to, you better end that relationship o. If you don't want to end it, PLEASE don't get married o! I repeat, DON'T GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE YOU AREN'T SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO! This is actually one of the major problems leading to extra-marital affairs. Realize that the one you choose to marry will be your sex partner for life! And if you don't feel sexually attracted to your sex partner, why do you even call them sex partner? Why are you with them? Brothers in Christ, listen! If you are with Bae, and you feel "strengthened in your outer man", it is a good thing. In fact it is healthy! I'm even tempted to say it is spiritual 😂. There is absolutely nothing wrong getting hard when you are with Bae. In fact, if you don't feel hard, it's a problem. It's either you don't find her sexually attractive (which is unhealthy), or you have a medical condition affecting your sexuality (which is also unhealthy). Bottom line is that it is UNHEALTHY. Don't get into a relationship with someone you have no sexual attraction for. It is unhealthy. Just stay friends.

Now to the crucial matter. Since as Believers in Christ, sexual involvement isn't part of our premarital romantic relationships, and we must also be in a relationship with someone we are sexually attracted to, how then do we deal with the sexual pressure and tension in our relationship? The answer is simple: BOUNDARIES! Set sexual boundaries early on in the relationship. In fact, this should be the first thing to be discussed and established at the beginning of the relationship. So how do we set boundaries? What are the rules? Are there hard-and-fast rules to establishing boundaries? I don't believe there are hard-and-fast rules, except the general rule that there will be NO SEXUAL INVOLVEMENT UNTIL MARRIAGE! But boundaries MUST be set!

Sexual boundaries vary in relationships, and the kind of boundaries employed is dependent on the individuals involved in the relationship. Each partner needs to be brutally honest about their weaknesses to determine the necessary boundaries suitable for them. You must first know yourself and understand yourself, your body, and your sexuality. Different people vary in their responses to different situations. Like I said earlier, I don't believe there are hard-and-fast rules, so I won't give any rules. I can only help you determine which boundaries are best efficient for you based on your BRUTALLY HONEST assessment of yourself, your body and your sexuality.

For example, some people have a really hard time keeping their hands to themselves when they are with their Bae in private. In such situation, these people easily give in to sexual pressure. The boundaries they need is to ALWAYS avoid meeting in private, or at least involve a third or even forth party if they must meet in private. For some others, they have no problem at all conducting themselves well with their Bae in private. For some folks, holding each other or cuddling can lead to doing some inappropriate stuff, but some others are very comfortable with it and still behave themselves very well while at it. Different strokes for different folks. One man's food is another man's poison, and one man's poison can actually be another man's medicine. The most important thing is to know yourself, understand your body, your sexuality and be brutally honest with yourself about your objective assessment of yourself.

Sexual attraction is awesome and necessary even in premarital relationships. It helps in bonding emotionally and physically (with the necessary boundaries of course). As long as you keep Christ at the centre of the relationship, you both won't lose focus. It will be easier handling sexual pressures if the two partners resolve in their minds to always honour God with their body and their relationship. Of course it's not by human strength but by God’s Hyper Grace (Hyper Power) at work in them both. And hopefully the relationship will eventually lead to marriage and they both will enjoy sexual fulfillment because they are sexually attracted to each other, and will remain addicted to each other after being sexually involved. This is God's will for us. He cares about our sexual enjoyment after all. I mean, isn't He just a good God! GLORY TO GOD! 😀

Do have an amazing Valentine's Day ahead of you. Show genuine love to ALL. Let love be your lifestyle, just as you have received the love of Christ.

—Dikky

#BaeSeries

#TID #ThisIsDikky #iFocus #FocusOnChrist